The film follows two awkwardly named CIA agents – FDR (Chris Pine) and Tuck (Tom Hardy) – who, by a stroke of typical Hollywood scriptwriting, end up infatuated with the same girl (Reese Witherspoon), who is so indecisive she makes Hamlet look like Dirty Harry. The best buds end up waging various covert ops against each other, in increasingly spectacular attempts to win over the object of their shared infatuation.
We`ll be the first to admit that we often have a hankering for mindless, beat-`em-up entertainment, and, despite its shortcomings, This Means War never lets up in that department. The film indulges director McG`s penchant for ludicrous setups: for example, both agents have the whole plethora of CIA surveillance and infiltration equipment at their fingertips, despite being grounded for bad behaviour and a botched operation.
McG doesn`t bother to dwell on the infuriating illogic, however, seeking instead to milk the premise to the best of his abilities. The result: some admittedly hilarious moments, action that is frenetically satisfactory without being spectacular, and several scenes that showcase the decent chemistry shared by Pine and Hardy. Reese Witherspoon is cute, but nowhere near sultry, and most of the sparks flying onscreen are due to the bromance, rather than the romance.
The script, while never witty, manages to capitalize on the distinctive `personalities` of its main leads, who`re pretty much caricatures rather than developed characters. FDR is your run-of-the-mill lothario, and Tuck is the silent, violent killer with a soft side. We never empathize with the characters, but thankfully, that doesn`t stop the film`s admittedly mean-spirited humour from working. In that aspect, the movie`s gags are generally juvenile but well-crafted, with several howlers involving tranquilizer darts, paintball fights and sex jokes equating hand size with penis length (we have pretty big hands, in case you were wondering, dear reader)…
Like most of McG`s capers, This Means War is meant to be a pantomime of real life situations and relationships. If you`re the sort able to completely suspend your disbelief, you may well find yourself very amused. Go with your bros, or if you`re bringing a date, make sure she`s the sort who can burp to the theme song of The A-Team.
Summary: Juvenile, puerile, febrile… other adjectives ending with `-ile`. Me Gusta.
Rating: 3/5 Raphael Lim
This Means War sneaks 17 Feb and opens 23 Feb 2012.
Check out 6 hilarious clips below and a special featurette after the jump:
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