Piranha 3DDWritten by administrator
Danielle Panabaker plays Maddy, a marine biologist who returns to her hometown only to be rudely greeted by her family’s property being turned into an adult water park by her sleazebag stepfather (played by David Koechner of Anchorman fame). When a few of her friends start going missing at a nearby lake the day before the water park is set to open, Maddy begins to suspect that there is, in fact, something in the water. She, along with her trash pick trident-wielding sidekick Barry (Matt Bush), sets out to investigate the lake only to find that the mutant killer fish have found their way into her stepfather’s chlorinated strip club. The rest of the movie sees Maddy trying to stop the mutant killer fish invasion before the water park opens and hundreds of young party-goers become fish food.
Piranha 3DD doesn’t pretend to be any more sophisticated than anyone expects it to be. The movie’s about an hour and a half of tacky gags, some of which are unforgivably corny and downright gross. But it’s not like audiences aren’t already clued in to the insanitarium that’s going to go down right from the beginning. Slapstick humour is pretty much the cornerstone for Piranha 3DD. It’s total camp. It’s a B-grade movie. There are sex scenes that feel like Fifty Shades of Stupid come to life. But the fact of the matter is that Piranha 3DD isn’t a movie that takes itself seriously and as long as you don’t either, you’ll probably like it.
My main qualm with the movie was that there wasn’t enough gore, and Piranha 3DD generally just lacks the scare factor. There were one or two bloody stumps thrown our way and, spoiler alert, some guy gets his dick chewed off by a piranha (which honestly is the highlight of this movie). But that aside, there’s basically nothing much to tide the audience over until the final full on blood bath – which even then, is kinda lacklustre.
Trying to critically review this movie’s script or the calibre of acting and direction is really quite superfluous, but I will say that casting-wise, The Hoff pretty much steals the show (and he’s playing himself, characterization be damned.) Christopher Lloyd and Ving Rhames are brilliant, as well, as they reprise their roles from the prequel.
Summary: Piranha 3DD is really tacky, but it’s great fun. It’s not as far gone as the likes of Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, but it doesn’t quite reach the sheer scale of truly great B-grade monster movies either.
Rating: 2 out of 5